Аннотация: It's translation of the story about Sofia, I did for my friend
Sofia
-the eighth suicide attempt in a month, and today's the date is 17th only! - under the canopy of an old shabby Soviet five-story building model "state property" were several young women in white medical gowns and smoked. On the street in a drizzling rain, from those nasty summer, when it's cool, it's been raining for a few days, and hanging in the air the wet slurry.
-a poor woman...- said the youngest (or maybe it just seemed that she just recently worked?), bringing the cigarette to her lips and inhale, - her husband left, the children died so awfully... it's really difficult not become mad in such situation....
The door swung open and on the threshold appeared another nurse.
-girls! Look! I got it! - in her hands was the plump notebook of the cheapest still in shops cost a penny, from the start with a yellow, scary pages like lived at the time of sale for many years, it seems, from the outset, smelling of old Soviet past. From it immediately smelled sedative strongly, noticeable even on the street.
-what is it? - calmly, even indifferently asked Tanya, the doctor, who worked for many years and got used to everything.
-diary! I got it! Do you remember, I said that she often writes something?! Here! - girl's faces became interested.
-really? I wonder what can be written there? - Marina said completely without expression, still throwing out a cigarette and taking from the hands of Ann book. She slowly opened the notebook somewhere in the middle.
"8th August, Wednesday.
The day again began with the bloody veil before eyes. Like someone covers my eyes with a blanket. Appeared nurse immediately wondered how do I feel... it has a nasty face, blood-red, evil, twisted hatred...."
-and who had visited her on the 8th? - lost girl from reading.
-Natasha, - Tanya nodded at the girl who was putting out the cigarette in the already rusted from years on the street, a metal ashtray on the small ledge of the Foundation near the door. Her face couldn't be called disguisting, large, bright blue eyes, regular features, a little makeup -- only eyes, perhaps, that stood out from all, they did not express absolutely nothing, completely indifferent, as if they were dead. But it wasn't anything amazing, such a view then the majority have worked here for more than a couple of weeks. Even the most bright and cheerful person getting into this building was turned into an insensitive beast, the other did not survive. Painfully, it was hard to see the crazy every day.
"after the injection again before the eyes everythimg floated, I blacked out, I don't know how long I had been losing track of time and didn't have watch. I woke up from the scream of a neighbor, a nice girl, I feel sorry for her..."
-and this she nice! - put your comment Marina, she is disguisting!
-well, you aren't right, she is very pleasant... if you don't see and don't know about its quirks.
-what about her? - asked Asya, all this time, standing absolutely silent and almost never smoked a cigarette in her hand burned almost completely, and she only made a couple of puffs.
-don't you know? Hey, you're the new girl, - Anya remembered, - she hates dogs, it seems to be normal, if it is not bought in trauma gun for the shooting and did not seek all nights for dogs for the shooting. But otherwise a nice, educated girl, did not show the disease... with a few unpleasant features.
-I see, - thoughtfully said Asya, - I'll go, girls, Michail Michailovich is waiting for me- she poked the cigarette into the ashtray and, opening the heavy iron door, slid into the formed crack, leaving colleagues to exclaim over the diary.
**
-good morning! - Asya smiled, stepping into the ward and glanced at lying on beds girls. One of them was lying face to the wall, tucked her knees to her chest and completely ignoring the greeting of a young doctor, the latter slightly nodded, lying on his back, but he nodded blankly, as if not addressed to her, and passed the time of day, so for the company, - how are you feeling, Sophia? - completely oblivious to the reaction approached to the second one.
-how do I feel? - lips twisted into a grin, finally adding the unpleasant impression of a pallid face, black, deeply sunken, as if the lifeless? eyes and Raven-black, hair not combed, - as usual.
Asya for a moment confused, because the heath card has always held inscription "good condition" and the patient she's seen for the first time.
-and if a little more? - finally she chose the most streamlined phrase.
-and if a little more, that doesn't interest you - calmly said the woman, - keep the crawl and write, "health good, no complaints", - Asya finally confused.
-why not interested? - difficulty remembering words, said the girl to her first patient in the hospital, who surprised her more and more.
-why? Injections of already prescribed, the condition should improve, what else?
-well... reading your history I got the impression that improvement is not observed, so you changed the attending physician, and I will build your treatment from scratch, so I want to build a clinical picture of your condition and not rely on previous entries in the heath card... finally the doctor said, by the way, my name is Asya, I haven't introduced myself yet.
-you alredy know my name. Sorry, it's difficult for me to speak, - the woman closed her eyes.
-have you drunk tea? - said Asya, something noting in a small clipboard in his hands.
-Yes.
-I'll come back later, - the doctor barely smiled, the behavior of the patient frighten her, and went to the next bed.
**
"The 17th of August, Friday.
Again the same morning with the veil before the eyes. Blood all over the place, as if I'm in a butcher's, blood everywhere. I have no more powers to suffer it, the red mist closes his eyes again. It's hard to breathe. Another useless day. Would rather have my suffering ended. I have no more strength. The doctor came, new, strange girl. Nobody put a shot today in the morning, she said that changing treatment, what will happen then I do not know. Given new tablets. Fell asleep again for a long oblivion. How tired of these bloody stains before my eyes. I don't want to live anymore. Don't want to! Don't want to!"
-no, you just look at her... her from the dead once again pull, and she still calls us nasty and weird! - indignantly said Anna, flipping through the notebook again, - Asia, why did you take her? You see, she'll kill you.
The girl said nothing, only quickly poked almost the whole cigarette in ashtray and slipped into the slightly open door.
-really strange... - after she left said Marina.
**
-Michael Mihajlovich, and I would argue that it is not a good treatment!
-Kovaleva, you're out of your mind? Are you proposing a violent patient to completely withdraw from treatment!
-I'm not suggesting I state that I need to move her in a private room and cancel all the current treatment.
-no.
-Yes, Mikhail Mikhailovich. I say that now all treatment leads to a deterioration in her condition.
and why such a conclusion?
-the General health of the patient and correlate it with the data in the map.
-I wonder, what don't you like in it?
-all, Michal Mikhalych all!
-well, well... expressive you hurt. Here, drink some water, - a girl almost without looking splashed in a glass of water from the pitcher and drained it at a gulp, then poured another.
-Mikhail Mikhailovich, I... - she faltered, wondering whether to talk about the diary, read in the Smoking room. Not to say she couldn't, it was base for most of her conclusions, to communicate with the patient really failed, but if she say? speaking can substitute the colleagues, which is not wanted.
-what are you? - the head of her Department looked at her.
-I... diary, I saw her diary - she finally decided, - out of curiosity I took it from the bedside while she slept.
-and?
-I'm saying that she has a rare form of intolerance to any component of the treatment, leading to allergic reactions and General deterioration, I read about it! - she blurted out in one breath and drank another glass. Now the administration has to say that to pry into things patients absolutely impossible, to base on this source of insights even more, you never know, what it says is crazy, and as a doctor Kovaleva, the youngest in the Department, with absolutely no experience, should turn out to his ravings brought confusion in the office.
-intolerance, you said? - said Shapovalov, going to the window. Asya stood as they were, did not put the glass on the place - so you are stating that our treatment is doing by far worse?!
-stating, - the girl realized that more she can not say a word, even if she will killed. Even the old-timers did not dare to argue with Michail Michailovich, a Professor of psychiatry with the Russian known name (even though a job in a small town, his work is read even in Moscow and often recommended to students of leading universities of the country, Asya herself studied his works), and then the way dare the girl, just graduate. She now marveled at his arrogance. She stood and argued with those whom she believed, if not God's psychiatry, the prophet accurately.
-let's sit down and tell me everything - doctor suddenly turned away from the window, and his face suddenly brightened, and his eyes flashed an interested spark. With quick steps he walked over to his desk and sat down, pulling out stacks of paper, - you said, a rare form talking about? And can youn show the source where you've read about it?
The girl deliberately slowly so not much was noticeable as shaking hands, poured another glass of water and slowly, slowly, drank, and then nodded and slowly sat down.
-of course I can, I specially kept it, - in hand flashed smartphone, quite shabby, outdated, chipped corner but still working. The girl with a firm touch ran my fingers across the screen - here, look, - she put the phone on the table and pushed in the direction of a physician.
**
"24е August, Friday.
I can't believe my own eyes, for the first time in the last year I Wake up without a bloody divorce. I see! A very sore eyes, I can't keep them open more than a few minutes... [page rascherchivayut mark of the handle, slipped with the line]"
-incredible,- muttered Anya, sliding his eyes over the lines, - after transfer in a separate room she suddenly began to improve, who would have thought that it can affect...
"the doctor came, the same Asya, very nice, talked with me extensively questioned [another line, and then continues again with a changed handwriting] as I explain everything to the smallest details, but never says that to me, just begging to hear her instructions and not rush to do everything. She says I would have to pass many tests before discharge, looking for something in my blood [again trait and change of handwriting] but even looking. For the first time woke up with the feeling that I'm alive. Eyes.... can't.... later..."
-well, new..... - absolutely no expression said Tanya, only in the eyes flashed something like envy, but they were too lifeless to disassemble anything. And none noticed that Asya, a minute ago wanted to appear in the Smoking-room, paused near not closed tightly door, listening to every word spoken there.
**
-Kovaleva, meet me in an hour, - said Mikhail, as he passed girls in the hallway -- grab the heath card of Bogolubova.
**
-yeah... - mused the head of Department, leafing through the card - looks like you were right, Asya... amazing that I paid so obvious symptoms out of attention... the only question is what caused such a reaction, you still have not conducted the necessary tests!
-Mikhail Michailovich, you know that Allergy tests can be carried out not earlier than 3 weeks after knocking attack and we have 3 weeks yet, and the attack we didn't take an antihistamine and elimination of the allergen, respectively, we have to be definite that the impact of allergens eliminated, - calmly said the girl, as if not paying attention to a few grumpy tone of the chief. And she knew he was not angry that she can't carry out tests now.
-let's say. And when?
-the first in a week. In two another samples. We will continue to look at the results, a large-scale blood sampling is impossible, you know!
-I know. I do not interfere, you know, screwed up already.
-what are you talking about! - the girl was indignant, knowing that he is now right. And he knew that she understood it.
-Yes, the saying. Keep me posted. Free.
The door with a quiet thud closed. The man a few seconds looking at the empty table, and then took one of the papers that lay before him, and something began to write.
**
-Sophia, how are you feeling?
-well, thank you, - the woman was sitting on the bed, legs crossed under the blanket, looking at the doctor. That woman, a month ago lying on the bed, she was completely different, the face became normal, very human color, hair, clean and glossy, was neatly gathered into a ponytail, only her eyes were a little sunken and tired, but they have flashed a living light.
-how's your head?
-normal.
-and what about eyesight, is it normal?
-that's right.
-you took my expressions, - smiled the doctor, writing something in her pad - and the mood?
-combat! - a woman absolutely silently laughed.
-Sof, you soon will have to leave hospital, do you know? The treatment is still not finished, but in hospital you have nothing to do. So get ready.
**
- this Kovaleva is squirt, - murmured Anne, as soon as the door on the porch slammed behind Asya -- what she had done to become the Deputy of head of the Department in two month, without experience, immediately after graduation.
-Yes slut, what do you want... - Marina exhaled smoke and stronger wrapped in the jacket - and I have this curve again brawled all night, I don't know what to do with her, medicine doesn't workn. And redheaded again at night tried to go out in the window, she is so stupide.....
-of course the fool, you have to save her life every month! No peace for you....
**
"October 30, Tuesday.
I decided to leave my diary in a hospital not to return to the past. Thanks to doctor Kovaleva, she pulled me from the death. I want to live! Want! No matter what will happen! Unspeakable happiness to live! To see a world without this bloody veil before my eyes! Without sore eyes! Live! I can't believe I spent almost a year in this condition just due to simple allergies, due to the fact that I took the medicine without consulting the doctor, I can't believe it was all me.
Today I begin life anew. Asya offered to stay with her, promised to try to help with the work, and the economy completely, I still hard to do, it's great that I have such a friend! Would rather check out, can't wait already packed, i'm bouncing impatiently like a child! Rather, rather a new life! Hurry!"