Аннотация: Read it, you won't regret it. An extraordinary story.
Holder Volcano
Apkarm Kamryamar
(story)
Life is such a strange thing that a person who lives in luxury, rich and happy, in an instant can turn into a beggar, a homeless person. Here, Apkarm Kamryamar also lived a life of luxury as a wealthy aristocrat.After he became a starving beggar, he lived for many years without a roof over his head. He slept where night falls, sometimes under a bridge, sometimes in heating mains, in holes, in ruins, and even in a cemetery, in an old grave that collapsed. One day he saw an ad that was posted on an electric pole by the dumpster, where Apkarm Kamryamar was looking for breakfast. It was written that there is a prestigious job with a good salary, for obedient and silent people. After reading this, Apkarm Kamryamar cried from happiness, not hesitating once. Well, think about it, a person for many years wandered through water wells, bridges, ruins, cemeteries in search of edible and normal housing, and here it is. The work is interesting. You only need to be silent. So he just lived for many years alone, and almost forgot how to talk to people. For him, the planet earth is like an uninhabited island in the vast cosmos. He feels as alone as humanity itself. Work is money, and without money there is no housing, without housing there is no life. That's why Apkarm Kamryamar cries. In such situations, a person can even go crazy with happiness. Here, they say that trouble does not come alone. It turns out that happiness doesn't come alone either. Immediately after the interview with the head of the secret office the Lord Bakatonov lailo Latipovich, he went to work. Since his work was secret, we will not go into detail in our story, for the sake of the life safety of our literary hero, Mr. Apkarm Kamryamar.The office of the organization where Apkarm Kamryamar worked, placed in the old attic of an abandoned pigsty.The head of this underground office was, as we wrote earlier, bakatonov lailo Latipovich, about forty-five years old, tall, skinny as a twig, hunched over, with bulging eyes and an overly small head that looks like a sock, that is, a a small hollow squash, where Uzbeks keep tobacco, which they throw under their tongue. We will also not name the other employees of this top-secret company by name, since we do not know their names. Bakatonov lailo Latipovich spent every morning before starting work in his cozy office, giving all his employees secret tasks, without making a single sound. In that organization, everyone talked to each other, in the language of the deaf, explaining their thoughts in sign language. Sometimes they spoke in writing, but they were completely secretive. In such conversations, employees either had to eat the paper after the conversation or burn it. In the office of the secret company which was in the attic of the abandoned pigsty, there were two back doors through which employees could easily escape when representatives of the security forces came to arrest them and take them to the pre- trial detention center for questioning under hypnosis.
Maybe our readers don't know yet that Apkarim Kamyamar was sent to a mental hospital not because he was actively engaged in political activities, exposing the falsifications and fraud of major officials in the upper echelon of power, who are engaged in laundering dirty money day and night, secretly transferring people's money through offshore to foreign banks. No, it's not like that at all. He was sent to a mental hospital for the fact that he really went crazy.
It all started with a salary. At the end of the month, the pay was brought in a bag to an abandoned pigsty.When Apkarm Kamryamar went to the cash register to collect his monthly salary, the cashier gave him the money along with one Lottery ticket. This greatly angered the secret employee Apkarm Kamryamar.
- Mr. Cashier - he wrote on paper, conducting a written conversation with the treasurer, strictly observing secrecy -Well, what kind of outrage is this?! Why the hell are you giving me a no-win lottery ticket when I'm surviving, barely making ends meet? Give me my salary in full! After all, I perform my duties honestly, strictly observing secrecy, never making a sound, not laughing, not even sneezing, like a fish in an aquarium! And you're giving me some kind of lottery instead of money! By the way, I have every penny on the account and I have to get married, do you understand?! Take back your damn lottery and give me my hard-earned money that I earned honestly! - Apkarm Kamrymar wrote, looking around cautiously.
The cashier got mad and angrily began to write down on paper - Why are you yelling at me, Mister Apkarm Kamryamar?! What do I have to do with it, and what can I do if Mr. Bakatonov lailo Latipovich himself ordered me to distribute these lottery tickets to the employees of our organization?! These claims are not against me! So don't interfere with my work! I'll call security, by quietly clicking on this red alarm button, or personally shoot you at point-blank range with a service weapon with a silencer, without any trial or investigation! - the cashier wrote. Then, right after he read the note, Apkarm Kamryamar, neatly crumpled up the paper and hastily ate it, and even washed it down with water.
What an evil person you are! I hope my money sticks out of your throat! - wrote Apkarm Kamryamar on paper, and pulled out a lighter, burned it, where his words were baked during a conversation with the cashier, to destroy the evidence at all times, without leaving a clue to investigators and prosecutors. On that day, Apkarm Kamryamar, having completed a top-secret task, returned home early and saw his neighbor Gurram, who lived poorly in a hut with his large family and sold fried pumpkin seeds, having set up a rickety table near his hut, which was missing a leg. Seeing his poor neighbor, as he sat wrapped in a cotton vest with numerous patches, a unique philosophical idea occurred to Apkarm Kamryamar, which in the depths of his soul brightened like a well under a bright shining moon.
It's a good time to spend the lottery by buying a cup of roasted pumpkin seeds from that idiot Gurram," he thought.
Well, Hello, successful entrepreneur Gurram! Still trading? Well, trade, but dont traffick people - warned Apkarm Kamar, as an undercover employee of the secret, mysterious office.
Hello, Mr. Apkarm Kamryamar.Thank God for everything, we're not complaining. We live, as they say, a little bit, eating what God will send - the entrepreneur Gurram answered modestly.
-I'd like to have a cup of roasted pumpkin seeds, please, said Apkarm Kamryamar.
Of course, Mr. Apkarm Kamryamar, open your pocket - said the businessman Gurram, he gently put roasted seeds in the pockets of the pants of Apkarm Kamryamar. Then he began to advertise his product, talking about the usefulness of fried pumpkin seeds for the human body.
-Eat a bowl of fried pumpkin seeds, if you want to live longer, Mr. Apkarm Kamryamar. Because roasted pumpkin seeds protect you from stomach ulcers, gastritis and cancer.They drive out two-meter flat pale and disgusting worms of parasites that live inside a person, as in their own estate and multiply quickly, laying their larvae there, he said.
Thank you for your helpful advice, successful entrepreneur Mr. Gurram! You're like a College- educated GP, as a biologist at the Academy of Sciences! You should be teaching biology classes in medical schools instead of selling fried pumpkin seeds here! Apkarm Kamryamar grinned, handing
gurram the lottery ticket that the cashier of the top-secret office where he works as an undercover employee had given Him.
What is it? It's not the money! You probably confused banknotes over lottery tickets, Mr. Apkarm Kamryamar! - told Gurram, handing the lottery back to the owner.
No, I didn't mix anything up, entrepreneur Gurram , this Lottery ticket is not expired. If you don't believe me, you can read it. It says the date of the making of this lottery ticket. And what can I do if the cashier of our top-secret office gave me this lottery ticket along with my salary? Well, what will I do with him, his kind of a check is normal, think about it, Gurramdjan - said Apkarm Kamryamar, hacking the husks off of the roasted pumpkin seeds that he had just bought.
Noooo, take your Lottery ticket back and give me my money immediately! I don't need a lottery ticket! look how many people spend their money buying these damned lottery tickets and don't get anything out of it! Give me my money, or I'll call people to help! - Gurram said.
You stinking entrepreneur, you're still threatening me! Do you even know who I am?! I work as an undercover employee in a highly classified office! You won't even have time to call people to help, and my colleagues will suddenly and silently appear here, like a ninja squad in medieval Japan and take you away, taking you to a place where no one returns. That's what you want, right?! Do you want to rot alive in the dark underground cells of our underground office?! Come on, call your people, if you're tired of living in this beautiful world! said Apkarm Kamryamar.
Well, Mr. Ap..." said entrepreneur Gurram. But his words immediately interrupted Apkarm Kamryamar.
Entrepreneur Gurram, no exceptions! You will lose all of your roasted pumpkin seeds, which lie in that pouch, I'm going to confiscate them - threatened Apkarm Kamryamar.
Hearing this, the entrepreneur Gurram was very scared.
No, no... that is all agreed, the Lord of Apkarm Kamryamar. That's it, I won't argue with You. - he said softly, finally pacifying himself.
A month later, the entrepreneur Gurram, who lived in a hut, along with his large family, won crazy money in the lottery, which was forcibly given to him by Apkarm Kamalar. The successful entrepreneur Gurram won a jackpot of one hundred million US dollars. Not only that, he built a five-story mansion with a huge pool inside, where his hut was located recently, where he sold fried pumpkin seeds. Not only that, he opened an expensive restaurant in the city center called "Golden pumpkin". Entrepreneur Gurram put gold in his teeth and began to drive a handmade expensive Rolls-Royce car sometimes, A lamborghini with a gilded body. Also, on Sundays, he went out to his estate on horseback on a horse of the Turkmen breed "Akhaltekin", with long and delicate manes, to the Royal hunt with a crossbow in his hands, accompanied by his servants, who blew a long-drawn hunting horn. A pack of Royal greyhounds with golden collars and golden teeth, barking in unison, deafening the entire neighborhood, together began chasing hares.
Seeing this, Apkarm Kamryamar finally went crazy and ended up in a mental hospital. Today, he managed to escape from the shelter, thanks to a thick autumn fog. He ran through the cornfield, not looking back, despite the cuts in his faces and lips and hands from sharp dried corn leaves, like the sabres of ancient warriors. Despite the fact that he was lost in a thick autumn fog, Apkarm Kamryamar walked at random, blindly through the cornfield. Although it was difficult for Apkarim Kamryamar to move in the thick and impenetrable fog, in his heart it was still easy, as the people who were chasing him, lost their way, thanks to the fog, and now he has a chance to hide from them forever, getting rid of forced treatment in a madhouse. How good it is to live in freedom, without orderlies who just work with a rubber baton, beating them to death and putting a strait jacket on the patient, tightly twisting the long sleeves, forcing them to eat disgusting food. Fortunately that today, early at dawn, he managed to escape from the shelter where the mentally ill suffering from schizophrenia are treated. Now here he was, thank God, he's almost free. He was saved by a thick autumn mist. Apkarm Kamryamar walked briskly through the cornfield, barefoot, in striped hospital pajamas, despite the dried corn leaves that looked like sharp sabers that cut his face, lips, and hands. It was raining cold. The dried corn leaves in unison whispered in the rain, adding mystery to the shifting mists and desolate cornfield. Apkarm Kamryamar from time to time heard the sounds of crows in the fog, even the rustle of their wings could be heard. He must go as quickly as possible and hide from his followers, who may include an operative group with evil service dogs in his search. As a child, Apkarm Kamryamar watched many films about prisoners who escaped from concentration camps and were chased by the evil service dogs of the ruthless nazis. It was difficult to run barefoot still in his mental hospital striped pajamas in the cornfield, through cold and impenetrable fog. Running was the only option, a person can easily get sick, get lung inflammation, and pneumonia, in such cold, cloudy and humid weather. He must move faster to avoid freezing and dying of hypothermia, through the cornfield that seems to have no end in sight.
Apkarm Kamryamar ran until he fell to the ground from weakness and fatigue. He knew perfectly well that if he didn't get up now and continue running, he might soon freeze to death or fall into the hands of his pursuers, but no matter how hard he tried to get to his feet, he failed to maintain his balance and fell back to the ground. Then he saw the dim silhouette of a door in a wavering fog and was extremely happy.-Well, thank you, God, for helping me in difficult times! I'm saved!I'm going to knock on the door and it will open. Maybe there are good people living behind this yard and they will shelter me at least for the night, and there, God knows, I'll get up early in the morning, thank the good hosts, worship them low, until my nose touches the ground. Thanks for the bread, salt and again continue running away-Apkarm Kamryamar was thinking. With these thoughts in mind, he moved cautiously on all fours to the door and began pounding on it, but no one was in a hurry to open the door, as if no one lives behind it. Just at this time Apkarm Kamryamar heard dogs barking and he was afraid. - You persecuting bastards! It turns out that they have already included a task force with evil service dogs in the search. Oh, I wish that cursed door would open faster - Apkarm Kamryamar thought. This fear gave him additional strength and he began to pound the door with great force, and the barking of the dogs became clearer and clearer. From the sound of their voices, it was possible to assume that the task force with service dogs were approaching and they were already running across the cornfield, in the direction where Apkarm Kamryamar lay and knocked incessantly on the door. He pounded on the door with his fists so long and hard that his fists were red with blood, but despite the stinging pain and blood, Apkarm Kamryamar continued to beat the door.
-Come on! Anyone in the house?! Open up, please, I don't want to fall into the hands of these reptiles and go back to the mental hospital! -he shouted, banging on the door and almost crying. Judging by the voice of the angry dogs, it was safe to think that the task force was very close and that they were about to catch Apkarm Kamryamar and send him back to the mental hospital. Now Apkarm Kamryamar began to hit the door with his legs and head. He kicked and headbutted the door so hard that blood began to ooze from his forehead. The rain was still falling, secretly whispering with the dried autumn corn, forming a red puddle where Apkarm Kamryamar lay, knocking on the door with his hands and feet and bloodied head. Here suddenly the door opened and Apkarm Kamryamar froze in surprise, because at the open door there were people in white coats with a straight jacket in their hands. In the next room, the patients barked in unison, imitating the barking of the Royal hunting dogs.