Кучеров Кирилл Юрьевич : другие произведения.

My Life as the Supreme Sultan

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Kir Chero

"My Life as the Supreme Sultan"

  
   Being a sultan - a dream or reality? Is it possible to become a king or a sultan without `blue blood' in your veins? Hardly! Unfortunately, `No' is more real than `Yes'. So what is left? - Only a dream! Ok! Let's imagine what we would do if we were the supreme sultan!
   Firstly, to choose right turn we need to realize all benefits and drawbacks of its position. - Personally, I can't see any negative points. You bet! What could be better - to be above everyone and everything, to make all your wishes come true, to sentence and show mercy anybody? Is it bad when all people around you bow before you, doing what you order them to etc? As we see - only benefits - any drawbacks. - Fine! In this case let's make our first laws and orders now!
   ...Sunrise. The enormous palace in the Ancient Persian city sparkles under the first rays of the sun. Inside, in a vast luxurious room the sultan is sitting on Eastern carpets and upholstered pillows, surrounded by noblemen of his council - shahs, viziers, sheikhs and other counselors - all those people whom I divide on two types `Yeses' - who always say `Yes' - and obviously `Noses'. One of them is noting what he utters:
   "First of all, we lord it over all air companies to stop using air-liners to transport people. We need to look back at our cultural traditions and treasures. From this day magic carpets should be used! - This is our holly will!
   Secondly! All genies and magicians have to come to us to reexamine their magical abilities. The best of the best will be honored to find and bring the most wonderful, brilliant and unique beautiful women all over the world to our palaces to replenish of the various harems.
   Next order concerns Ali-Baba personally and all his bandits. Henceforward he is obliged to give us 50 per cents from all his booty. Furthermore, every time he comes to us as drunk as a lord he will undergo of punishment which we call "torture by water".
   Let's go on! I wish you could find me a pretty girl who knows million and one tales. After that you will have to send her to us in order that she will tell them every evening one by one. However! No one from her tales shouldn't even far looks like Scheherazade's ones - we've already heard them and, as a consequence, have killed the narrator.
   Attention! I want you to know that I'm the Sultan who takes care of animals - our little brothers! In this case I order to find the most skilful doctors and surgeons. They will need to operate on the camels and elephants. It's time to stop their pain! Henceforward all camels will get rid of their disgusting hump and elephants - of their ugly trunks. We reckon that for their work they deserve to be attractive. And this is our final word!
   And the last one! I wish to have our own personal ocean with sharks, dolphins, whales and, of course, fascinating mermaids inside our further empire. So we lord it over to dig a vast ocean instead some desert - Sahara for example - when we have occupied it."
   The next point we have on the agenda is the conquest of neighboring countries and revival of Ancient Persian Empire in bygone territories and even more... Dariy, Kir, Kserks, Saladin - these names belong to the greatest Persian conquerors, supreme kings and magnificent rulers. All of them are in memory of the World. Their names are written down in gold letters into historical folio. Perhaps, now it is the time for new one?! - "Yeah! I smell it! Forward, people of the East! Victory awaits for us! Oh, Precious Baghdad, very soon you'll have become the stronghold of Peace as before! And Persia, at last, will have become the Kingdom of Heaven!"
   ...Seven years, seven months and seven days the war was going on. And when it lastly was over... "Wait a minute! And where is the Sultan, damn it!? Has he achieved the majestic grandeur? Or has contemptible ending of his reign fallen on his lot?" - Actually, I don't know, because in that moment I'd woke up! So if you wish make up the continuation of story yourself! For it you need only to imagine your life as the Supreme Sultan!
  

...2006

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Kir Chero

"My Life as the Supreme Sultan"

  
  


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